Be Still My Heart

Sam turned 13 this year.  THIRTEEN!

It's not often that I get overly sentimental or emotional... but something happened to me the day he turned 13.

It wasn't the feeling of loss that I so often hear from other moms... it wasn't the sadness I hear from others thinking of all the days gone by... it wasn't a longing for his baby belly, or his toddler toes, or his little boy laugh....  though all of those things bring an enormous smile to my face.

This time... for me... with Sam...  it was this awareness... The awareness of this kid that I swear was born with a heart 3 times the normal size...  a kid who knew when he was 15 months old exactly how to be kind and how to care and how to feel for another human being...  This kid who never went through an age or a stage when we said, "Well, he doesn't realize there is a world beyond him... he'll grow out of that..."   Because Sam was born with empathy that far exceeds most every adult I know.  He was born with a kindness and a maturity that has stopped me in my tracks... literally.  He was born knowing how to be a big brother and how to care for the little minds growing up around him.  We've asked him to do a lot and to be a lot... but it has always been a natural instinct for him.

For that, I have felt sentimental... emotional... 

I hope he has done that because he has wanted to and because it makes his heart feel happy.  I hope that hasn't felt like obligation and sacrifice to him. We've expected it from him and he has delivered beautifully. I hope he looks back on that fondly - and not with frustration.

Regardless, I couldn't help but go dig up picture after picture of this child on his thirteenth birthday and just marvel at his beautiful blue eyes, his precious smile, and his enormous heart. 

I've often said that Sam is our proof that we know how to parent well (don't tell Charlie and Luke that we say that!)  but I honestly don't even feel right taking credit for it.  There was something Sam was born with that just made him know that it's better to be kind than it is to be right... something that told him that in life you lend a hand when you can and you help people who need it... something that makes it so natural for him to share and sacrifice and offer himself to others.  It's just who he is.

Lots of pictures follow... but it's my journey of raising this amazing, incredibly kind thirteen year old boy.

 

Be still my heart...